A letter to Doris
Dear Mr. Doris:
Having read the recent St. Pete Times article about your quest to quash the nascent Homo Haven at Newsome High School, I was moved to write these words of encouragement.
First of all, I agree with your central thesis that it is truly shocking that high school kids might want to talk about sexual issues. Sexual urges, curiosities, and abnormalities are highly personal issues that should never be mentioned, much less acted upon. Sodomy is for suckers, and non-procreative coupling should only be practiced by experienced professionals.
Secondly, I am incredulous that the students who are proposing this so called support group have been allowed to remain in school. I hereby call for the immediate dismissal of these unnaturally urged rabble rousers. If they want to practice their aberrant alternative lifestyles, let them do so in an alternate county!
Finally, I wholeheartedly endorse your assertion that there is no tolerance issue around here. Deviants will not be tolerated, and troublemakers will be dealt with. Period!
Thank you for standing strong and tall and manly against the rising tides of tolerance and understanding in our society.
Sincerely,
Norwood