Storms does Bay Area proud

December 21, 2005

(Note: Yes, this is the post that I promised to put up yesterday. Yes, it is late. For those of you who have been waiting with baited breath, I apologize, and I will fully refund the cost of your subscription upon request.)

Howls of derision from the usual sources are accompanying Ronda Storms’ (R – Homophoburbia) testing of the waters for a possible State Senate run. Call me crazy, but I, for one, think it’s a great opportunity for the Tampa area.

Look, for the past few years, due to the hard work of Rep. Dennis Baxley, Ocala has been in the legislative limelight as Dennis’ wise leadership has led to numerous widely noted initiatives.

It’s time for the Bay Area to stand up and send our own Dennis Baxley to Tallahassee. With the experience Ronda has in Hillsborough County’s political minor leagues, she should be able to hit the ground ranting and make an immediate impression state wide that will bring our area the widespread recognition that it deserves.

Patriot Baxley chairs the House Education Panel, and one of his top priorities has been to ensure that every classroom in Florida is equipped with a properly sized American flag. Some classrooms were actually displaying non-conforming flags and buying textbooks and computers with funds that could have been used for jingoistic displays. Baxley sponsored a bill that put an end to those questionable practices.

He also led the charge for the state to save poor Terri Schiavo’s productive and meaningful life. Some people, such as Terri’s evil husband, felt that Terri’s stated wish to die should she ever find herself absent a functioning brain should be honored. Baxley knew better, and sponsored a bill explicitly designed to derail our society’s ‘culture of death.’

Speaking of death, Dennis’ best known effort might be the ‘Cracker Git Yer Gun’ law which allows a citizen to legally shoot criminals and other brown skinned types who may seem to be a threat. This law was way overdue and replaces the much weaker castle doctrine. The castle doctrine is for pussies.

Baxley is also actively involved in an effort to reign in liberal college professors and protect vulnerable young fascists from having to engage in thought while attending institutions of higher education. See, those liberal professors abuse the young republicans by basing grades on evidence that students have absorbed and retained a portion of the brainwashing reeducation that is common on our communist infested campuses. Baxley knows that this is an unfair abuse of power on the part of the professors.

These are but a few examples of the work that Baxley has done, all of which reflects back on his home district of Ocala.

Based on her local performance to date, our own Ronda, should she find herself in Tallahassee, could easily jump right in and make a splash in the Senate, bringing some much needed notice to our area.

Ronda wisely micromanages public library decisions, and provided the spark that gained Tampa national recognition as the area which is morally strong enough to stand up against the homosexual agenda.

Ronda is leading the fight against nudity. As a conservative, she knows that any government which allows its citizens to practice freedom of speech by gallivanting around all nekkid is not exercising enough control.

And, much like our glorious President, Ronda recently broke the law and violated people’s civil liberties in order to protect us all from severe threats. In Ronda’s case, she had the moral strength to interfere with the opening of a bikini bar – an establishment that fully intended to employ scantily clad sexually loose harpies to trick good Christian men into consuming mass quantities of alcohol.

I could go on and on listing Ronda’s numerous accomplishments, but her good works are just too numerous to fully document. Suffice it to say the Ronda is ready for the big leagues, and if elected, she’s sure to garner tons of state and national publicity for Tampa and Hillsborough County.

So, run, Ronda, run! Let’s show those hicks in Tallahassee what Tampa is made of!

3 Responses to Storms does Bay Area proud

  1. dondon009 on December 21, 2005 at 10:34 am

    I have been waiting for this post from you!

    Written exactly as I would expect you to write it! PERFECTLY……..

    THANKS AND HAVE A GREAT HOLIDAY!

    DON~

  2. kathleen on December 21, 2005 at 10:52 am

    If she runs she will bring us more of the kind of much needed media attention Tampa received from Bubba the Love Sponge.

  3. Kandy on December 22, 2005 at 12:08 pm

    What’s influencing Storms to run?

    Interesting that Rhonda Storms has recently made a 180 degree turn in seeking this Senate seat.

    Could it be a recent meeting with a Senate president candidate and a couple of Tallahassee lobbyists?

    It’s been widely reported that Sen. J D Alexander – a Senate President candidate in 2010 — paid a visit to County Commissioner Storms. Also, he brought Richard Gentry of the Homebuilders lobby, State Farm lobbyist Joe Formosa and Republican big wig Charlie Hilton from Panama City.

    Storms, a smart lady but unaccustomed to the strong armed tactics of Tallahassee politics, was apparently taken aback by what was offered in the meeting.

    Informed insiders say what influenced Storms reconsideration the most was a financial offer not for her campaign, but for her husband. Storms’ husband, David, owns a landscaping business, which we all know is a very competitive endeavor.

    The wealthy grandson of the late Ben Hill Griffin Jr. was apparently willing to finance more than a poll as noted in the mainstream media. He apparently offered her husband’s landscape firm big business projects in exchange for her vote if she is elected. Big numbers have been floating around, but a minimum of $50,000 was said to have been mentioned. These numbers seem low considering the business the homebuilders lobby and big time Republican contributors could steer to a landscaping business.

    Helping steer contracts to friends in the business world is a common occurrence. The offer to a public official and candidate violates numerous state laws, including Florida Statue 104.071, which is punishable by a third degree felony.

    Citizens of the state should be protected from these antics. Law enforcement or more specifically the state attorney needs to look into this matter and send the guilty parties to jail.

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