Rubio Likes Dry Feet, Not Wet Backs

August 11, 2010

NOTE: The title references two US immigration policies. Wet Feet, Dry Feet:

…in what has become known as the “wet foot, dry foot” policy, a Cuban caught on the waters between the two nations (i.e., with “wet feet”) would summarily be sent home or to a third country. One who makes it to shore (“dry feet”) gets a chance to remain in the United States

and Operation Wetback:

Operation Wetback was a repatriation project of the United States Immigration and Naturalization Service to remove illegal Mexican immigrants (“wetbacks”) from the Southwest.

The intent of the double entendre is to tersely describe the shockingly inappropriate and illogical positions taken by a first generation American. I do not mean to offend, but I, like Atrios, understand that your mileage may vary.

The story reads like a script from the ultimate Tea Party horror film: waves of foreigners illegally cross our southern border fully intending to seamlessly integrate into the expat community – folks who spurn English in favor of their native Spanish, people who retain their traditional dress and mores despite the obvious superiority of the tawdry fads of their host nation.

The foreigners undermine our laws with their exotic abattoirs and their support of terrorism. Crime rates increase dramatically. The immigrants’ sheer numbers combined with their stubborn refusal to learn English force entire cities to waste precious resources going bilingual

The illegals plan to defy our laws and make a permanent life in this community, working, learning, worshipping, and popping out anchor babies ASAP to keep themselves moored in Miami.

And after literally thousands of them navigate through our porous border, the sniveling spineless America hating President grants them amnesty!

The stars of this Tea Party Circus of Horrors are the illegal immigrant parents of Florida Senate candidate Marco Rubio.

The elder Rubios, despite their reported status as uneducated peasants, managed to flee Castro’s Cuba in 1959 – either by sea or by air – with the first wave of mostly elite, ruling class land owners. They illegally entered our country, gave birth to an anchor baby in 1960 – Marco’s older sister – and were subsequently granted amnesty by Presidential Pardon.

In the Western Hemisphere, Fidel Castro seized power in Cuba in 1959 and embarked upon a policy making it a communist country. These wars, along with Castro’s victory, led to another wave of refugees. Shortly after Castro won control, some elite Cubans fled to Miami. As the flow grew, Presidents Eisenhower, John F. Kennedy, and Lyndon Johnson used the parole power to admit them. From 1959 to the Cuban missile crisis of 1962, more than 200,000 arrived. Flights were suspended after the missile crisis, although some escaped by boat to Florida.

So with such a rich family history, where does Marco Rubio stand on the hot button immigration issues that are so important to his fans?

Flip flops, tightropes, and crickets.

Rubio was criticized as a Tea Party Pooper when he came out against Arizona’s immigration law. He executed a classic flip flop as he declared that the law would not, after all, lead to a police state – it turns out that Rubio is very much against immigrants who walk in through the desert.

On the campaign trail, Rubio walks a tightrope as he extols the sacrifice and hard work of his parents

His message, though, resonates: His parents migrated from Cuba to Miami to give him a better life; the Obama administration is dangerous; the federal debt will crush the next generation.

“We are at a real crossroads,” he gravely tells the gathering. “There are only two ways we can go. Either my children, your children, and your grandchildren can grow up to be the freest, most prosperous Americans ever… or else they will be the first generation to inherit from their parents and grandparents a diminished nation.”

…while lambasting amnesty and calling for tough immigration policies against newcomers.

“I believe we must fix our immigration system by first securing the border, fixing the visa and entry process and opposing amnesty in any reform,” he said.

So, he’s against amnesty. Except for his parents. And presumably his older brother. But what about the whole 14th Amendment debate? Does Rubio think it should be repealed so that anchor babies like his sister can be deported along with their parents (unless, of course, said parents were HIS parents…)

Crickets. More crickets. And here.

Finally, today, the St. Petersburg Times reports that despite his illegal mother’s apparent refusal to learn and use english,

“The fundamental issue we need to focus on is border security. These other things are really not at this moment pressing issues,” said Rubio, when asked about calls to revise the 14th Amendment to the U.S. Constitution.

“I’ve been raised around immigration and immigrants my whole life,” he said. “Legal immigration is good for America, but I also know we can’t be the only country in the world that doesn’t enforce its immigration laws.”

It was a careful choice of words for a prominent Hispanic candidate caught between a growing national furor over illegal immigration and a cultural connection to the source of that fury.

Rubio is the son of Cuban immigrants. His wife is of Colombian descent. His mother prefers to communicate in Spanish over English.

Okay – Cuban immigrants good. Colombian immigrants good. Mexican immigrants… well, let’s just sum up Marco Rubio’s complex and thoughtful stance on immigration with some campaign friendly bullet points (with apologies to Orwell):

    Whoever immigrates upon two legs is an enemy.
    Whoever immigrates upon water, or upon wings, is a friend.

And, of course, an addendum: All immigrants are equal but some immigrants are more equal than others.

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2 Responses to Rubio Likes Dry Feet, Not Wet Backs

  1. Robert on August 11, 2010 at 11:45 am

    It would be interesting to know if Rubio’s wife’s parents “are” or “came in” as legal as Rubio might want them to be.

  2. Jake on August 16, 2010 at 2:01 pm

    Rubio fights hella hard on Cuban issues, but seems willing to hate on all other brown people. Someone should tell him Cubans aren’t even the biggest Hispanic voter group. Mexicans and Puerto Ricans both outnumber. Attacking minorities is a long-term loser for the GOP, and a short-term loser for Rubio in particular.

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